The convocation was summoned by Terry Dorksen, CEO of Dorkbus, and Adbul Dhorkha Prime Minister of Dorking 7000. They both sat gawking at the fallow wall opposite their table, which was perched at the front of the room with a panoramic view of the world’s media dorks. They had been assembled for a press conference on the unprecedented rising levels of dorkishness – a phenomenon so serendipitously arrived at, it had lead many outside the dork-circle to speculate that an endemic was in state of aggressive progression. Harold Dorkington, spokesperson for Dorksus International Council (DIC), with his skeletal shoulder twitch and shock of silver hair on an otherwise boring russet head, said the dorkference had been called in an attempt to explain the origins of dork, and to introduce a radical new way of measuring dorkishness.
Dorkington began by denying the myth that dorkonomy emanated from the very first concept of a flying machine. No, he claimed with his right scapula struggling to remain attached to his clavicle, Leonardo Da Vinci was not to blame. Not that blaming would solve dorkdom. Rather, dorkdom shouldn’t be solved. Dorkdom has in fact evolved into an unstoppable mechanism that has ‘rightfully’ been embraced as a via regia to a prosperous career and prestigious social status. Exuding an existential pride as his justificationof the dork-state rolled off his tongue and into the dust-dry room, Dorkington excitedly explained, in substantial digression from the origins of dork, that a new hand-held device that can measure levels of dorkaché in a given space is now extant. And it just so happened that he had one in his possession: ‘Behold the all new dorkometer XV37 type 1.29!’ he rallied out in a sudden euphoric frenzy. Agape and breathless, the devoted dork dwellers stared in awe-struck bewilderment at the shiny aluminium device. So intense was the wonder of the congregation you could hear dork-hearts palpitations as dork-shirts started to stretch as Need took physical control of the dork-bodies, filling all their organs and muscles with Want and Longing – those insidious forebears of Greed.
To be continued…
Posted on November 16, 2011
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